I have had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I breastfeed baby, she keeps saying I do not have enough milk, keep asking me to let baby drink formula milk. I was so looking forward to breast feeding my baby that I kept dreaming about it during pregnancy. The baby needs in the initial few days is colomstrum. So when the lactation consultant came by and squeezed my boobs, all that came out were a few drops, she was given the idea that I had no milk. So in the hospital, everytime baby cries, she will tell me to ask the nurses to give baby formula milk. I only gave in once and she was the one who fed my baby. All other times, I breastfed my baby.

When I was discharged, everytime I breastfeed my baby, she will stand there and watch me breastfeed. In fact, everytime I want to breastfeed my baby, the ladies in the room will not 'hiao hiao' and walk out, they will stand there and watch me unbutton my top and pull out my boob and watch my baby suckling at my boob. How much privacy that was. Every single female in my family has seen my boobies, and I was too tired to ask them to get out. When you have a wailing baby who needs to be fed, all that you know you have to do is to undress and get your boobs out at the fastest speed ever and stop the baby from crying too much lest baby gets colic.

Anyway at home, she will also keep saying I do not have milk everytime I feed my baby and my baby cries. First few nights at home baby did not sleep, and James and I were exhausted. I was feeling sooooooo lousy from the lack of sleep, and the amount of times baby needs to be breastfed was tiring me out, hurting from the c-section wound, unable to move about easily due to the wound, having to eat weird food and drink disgusting drinks and suddenly having to cope with so many things all at one go. She just kept on harping that I have NO MILK and told everyone that baby is not drinking enough. I finally relented one night, and gave baby formula milk. She was sooooo happy and insisted on feeding my baby. But even then, everytime I latch my baby, she will repeat that sentence "Baby is hungry, not full." everytime baby cries.

I tried to talk to her that I want to breastfeed my baby. On the surface it seems like she is supportive. BUT how supportive is she when she keeps passing comments like "Ah Hui got no milk, baby keeps crying at night" or "Baby is not full from her milk" to the whole entire village of pple (meaning my family and my aunt). To the extent that everyday my dad comes home, he will ask me if I have milk. I was so stressed that I broke down for several times and we are not allowed to cry during confinement coz our eyesight will deteriorate. End up now my baby is almost 90% on formula milk and my breastmilk supply is dwindling.

I am very discouraged and I was almost going to give up (until my massage lady came that day and kept on encouraging me and telling me that I have milk, dun give up on breastfeeding.) And when she found out I wanted to stop breastfeeding, she was happy. I actually stopped pumping for a few days. After my massage lady came, I started with my pumping sessions again, she saw James put the bottle of expressed breast milk into the fridge, she immediately ask him "Why am I still pumping? I still have milk meh?" Half hour after drinking my breastmilk, my baby cried, her first comment is "She is not full". How can baby be hungry after drinking 110ml of breastmilk? Turned out that baby had a wet nappy.

Then comes the topic of feeding baby water. She keeps asking us to feed baby with water, I told her that breastmilk has a lot of water. Then she starts saying then how baby will get full, give her formula.

My baby had jaundice and was admitted to hospital for 2 days. Before that, she made James go and buy some dunno wad yellow thingy and used that to boil water to bathe my baby, saying that will help to reduce the jaundice level. That thing is so yellow that it stained ALL the clothes and towel that came into contact with the water. So how is it supposed to help in reducing the jaundice level? All these old wives' tales. Then she heard from my aunt that boiling red sugar cane in water and let baby drink will reduce jaundice. She actually wanted to do that! That was the ultimate. I voiced out my displeasure and told her that I do not want MY baby to drink all these rubbish. She kept quiet and stopped talking about it. Then last night, she brought this up again, saying that my elder sister let her daugher drink that last time too, so should be harmless. Yes, sugar cane is harmless, but my baby is only 1 month old, how can she be drinking such stuffs! She should be drinking nothing but milk.

Then she wants us to introduce yao lan. She keeps asking me to buy. My room has absolutely no more space to put a yao lan, she actually suggested removing the cot bed and replacing it with a yao lan! How ridiculous is that! Then wad, my baby will grow up sleeping in nothing else other than yao lan? I do not want my baby to inculcate the bad habit of having to be rocked to sleep so I am trying very hard not to introduce yao lan. Initially I had no qualms abt using yao lan, but after encountering a lot of issues with my parents, I know that the moment I buy a yao lan, they WILL always rock my baby to sleep, and will not allow me to say put baby in the yao lan and rock 2 times and let baby sleep on her own.

And I am not allowed to bring my baby out. It's like I need to seek her permission everytime I want to do something. I cannot use the lappy for long, she will nag at me to rest if I have the time, and not waste the time online. I cannot shave my baby's hair coz they feel that baby's head is too soft. My baby has only worn rompers twice so far, and at home baby only wears not-nice clothes (those plain plain ones) and nappy. Not allowed to wear rompers coz those are going out clothes? And I am not allowed to bring my baby out, so my baby has no chance to wear those rompers.

And she barges into my room as and when she wants. She doesn't give James and I a chance to handle baby on our own. Everytime baby cries, she will barge in and carry my baby from us and walk to the living room with my baby in her arms. Then we as the parents, go trotting after her into the living room. Am I her surrogate mother or wad, how come I feel that I am my baby's mummy in name only?

Sorry for ranting, but I really need an outlet.

I have had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I breastfeed baby, she keeps saying I do not have enough milk, keep asking me to let baby drink formula milk. I was so looking forward to breast feeding my baby that I kept dreaming about it during pregnancy. The baby needs in the initial few days is colomstrum. So when the lactation consultant came by and squeezed my boobs, all that came out were a few drops, she was given the idea that I had no milk. So in the hospital, everytime baby cries, she will tell me to ask the nurses to give baby formula milk. I only gave in once and she was the one who fed my baby. All other times, I breastfed my baby.

When I was discharged, everytime I breastfeed my baby, she will stand there and watch me breastfeed. In fact, everytime I want to breastfeed my baby, the ladies in the room will not 'hiao hiao' and walk out, they will stand there and watch me unbutton my top and pull out my boob and watch my baby suckling at my boob. How much privacy that was. Every single female in my family has seen my boobies, and I was too tired to ask them to get out. When you have a wailing baby who needs to be fed, all that you know you have to do is to undress and get your boobs out at the fastest speed ever and stop the baby from crying too much lest baby gets colic.

Anyway at home, she will also keep saying I do not have milk everytime I feed my baby and my baby cries. First few nights at home baby did not sleep, and James and I were exhausted. I was feeling sooooooo lousy from the lack of sleep, and the amount of times baby needs to be breastfed was tiring me out, hurting from the c-section wound, unable to move about easily due to the wound, having to eat weird food and drink disgusting drinks and suddenly having to cope with so many things all at one go. She just kept on harping that I have NO MILK and told everyone that baby is not drinking enough. I finally relented one night, and gave baby formula milk. She was sooooo happy and insisted on feeding my baby. But even then, everytime I latch my baby, she will repeat that sentence "Baby is hungry, not full." everytime baby cries.

I tried to talk to her that I want to breastfeed my baby. On the surface it seems like she is supportive. BUT how supportive is she when she keeps passing comments like "Ah Hui got no milk, baby keeps crying at night" or "Baby is not full from her milk" to the whole entire village of pple (meaning my family and my aunt). To the extent that everyday my dad comes home, he will ask me if I have milk. I was so stressed that I broke down for several times and we are not allowed to cry during confinement coz our eyesight will deteriorate. End up now my baby is almost 90% on formula milk and my breastmilk supply is dwindling.

I am very discouraged and I was almost going to give up (until my massage lady came that day and kept on encouraging me and telling me that I have milk, dun give up on breastfeeding.) And when she found out I wanted to stop breastfeeding, she was happy. I actually stopped pumping for a few days. After my massage lady came, I started with my pumping sessions again, she saw James put the bottle of expressed breast milk into the fridge, she immediately ask him "Why am I still pumping? I still have milk meh?" Half hour after drinking my breastmilk, my baby cried, her first comment is "She is not full". How can baby be hungry after drinking 110ml of breastmilk? Turned out that baby had a wet nappy.

Then comes the topic of feeding baby water. She keeps asking us to feed baby with water, I told her that breastmilk has a lot of water. Then she starts saying then how baby will get full, give her formula.

My baby had jaundice and was admitted to hospital for 2 days. Before that, she made James go and buy some dunno wad yellow thingy and used that to boil water to bathe my baby, saying that will help to reduce the jaundice level. That thing is so yellow that it stained ALL the clothes and towel that came into contact with the water. So how is it supposed to help in reducing the jaundice level? All these old wives' tales. Then she heard from my aunt that boiling red sugar cane in water and let baby drink will reduce jaundice. She actually wanted to do that! That was the ultimate. I voiced out my displeasure and told her that I do not want MY baby to drink all these rubbish. She kept quiet and stopped talking about it. Then last night, she brought this up again, saying that my elder sister let her daugher drink that last time too, so should be harmless. Yes, sugar cane is harmless, but my baby is only 1 month old, how can she be drinking such stuffs! She should be drinking nothing but milk.

Then she wants us to introduce yao lan. She keeps asking me to buy. My room has absolutely no more space to put a yao lan, she actually suggested removing the cot bed and replacing it with a yao lan! How ridiculous is that! Then wad, my baby will grow up sleeping in nothing else other than yao lan? I do not want my baby to inculcate the bad habit of having to be rocked to sleep so I am trying very hard not to introduce yao lan. Initially I had no qualms abt using yao lan, but after encountering a lot of issues with my parents, I know that the moment I buy a yao lan, they WILL always rock my baby to sleep, and will not allow me to say put baby in the yao lan and rock 2 times and let baby sleep on her own.

And I am not allowed to bring my baby out. It's like I need to seek her permission everytime I want to do something. I cannot use the lappy for long, she will nag at me to rest if I have the time, and not waste the time online. I cannot shave my baby's hair coz they feel that baby's head is too soft. My baby has only worn rompers twice so far, and at home baby only wears not-nice clothes (those plain plain ones) and nappy. Not allowed to wear rompers coz those are going out clothes? And I am not allowed to bring my baby out, so my baby has no chance to wear those rompers.

And she barges into my room as and when she wants. She doesn't give James and I a chance to handle baby on our own. Everytime baby cries, she will barge in and carry my baby from us and walk to the living room with my baby in her arms. Then we as the parents, go trotting after her into the living room. Am I her surrogate mother or wad, how come I feel that I am my baby's mummy in name only?

Sorry for ranting, but I really need an outlet.