Have been wondering if it is due to my surge in hormones that I have been feeling a tad too emotional and sensitive lately, or it is due to my suppressed feelings for too long. Starting to feel sorry and pity myself for a lot of things. All the old grandmother stories are coming back, all the injustice and unfairness that I haven felt for so long are all back again. And the thing that triggerred all these is my own mother.

Baby Shower - Like what I had mentioned in my previous post, I am feeling very upset about the no baby shower and no cake distribution.

Fetching my mum home after work -
Some background story (not sure if I had mentioned it before)... Ever since we got our ride, we have been fetching my mum back from work almost everyday. To the extent that it has become a habit and she will call me every night to check if we will go and fetch her. We fetch her on all days that we can, maybe except on days when I meet my frens for dinner, and this is before and after I was pregnant. Even when we have our early days and reach home before 8pm, Darling will still make an effort to purposely drive down and fetch her home. Somedays we will purposely loiter ard to wait for her so that we can fetch her home even though I am extremely tired, especially after I discovered I was pregnant. We do all these without complain until she got a bit overboard.

Mid of August I was on 8 days of HL, and throughout the 8 days I was cooped up at home and resting, so obviously Darling drove to work. He had to work late on many days as he had received a new project. Thus was not able to go and fetch my mum from work. Then that weekend, Number 2 came home for lunch. My mum complained to her that she has been reaching home late for the past week coz she had to take a bus home. Number 2 offerred to fetch her back on days that we are unable to fetch her. Her number 2 daughter offerred it willingly. So came Tuesday (Monday was a public holiday in Malaysia, so she did not go to work), both us and Number 2 called her to offer to send her home. End up we fetch her home coz we were already in the vicinity. Wednesday we let Number 2 fetch her, Thursday due to Isabelle's notti saga, we did not make it to fetch her. She came home and told me try not to always let Number 2 go and fetch her. I just listen lo. Friday we went to fetch her.

Then come this week. Today is Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday Darling drove to work, in fact nowadays he will send me to work, then he drives to office. We were not expecting him to work late, but who knows, Monday morning he received an email from the client, saying that he wants to bring forward the meeting to today (Wednesday) which means he will have lots to rush on Monday and Tuesday. And I myself was stranded in the office, I had to ask Daddy if he could come and fetch me home on Monday. Tuesday I did not want to trouble him, so I took a cab home on my own.

Monday evening Mum called me, asking if I had called her (she had a few missed calls). Those calls were not from me coz I was at home, without car, and James at work, with the car, I would not have called her to offer to fetch her coz I had no means to do that. It was Number 2 who called her. After knowing that I did not call her, she said she will call Number 2. She called me shortly and asked me to lie to Number 2 if Number 2 calls me. She wanted me to tell Number 2 that I was on my way to fetch her, when in fact she will take a bus home on her own. I passed the phone to Daddy who sort of told Mum off. He mentioned something like Number 2 offerred to fetch her home willingly, why is there a need to lie? If I am not wrong, my Mum's reply was she did not want to trouble her so much and so often, so she take bus home on her own. Coz my Dad's reply was "Asking her to fetch you is troubling her, then what about Ah Hui, they everyday fetch you home, no trouble is it?" End up my Mum got Number 2 to fetch her home.

I feel very taken for granted by my own mother. She expects James and I to go fetch her everyday and that is no trouble to us. But when Number 2 go and fetch her, it is trouble to Number 2. Even when my parents go Malaysia for those short trips, the moment they reach Singapore customs, they will call us, expecting us to go and fetch them. There was this Saturday they had to attend a wedding dinner at Conrade Hotel (the ex Le Meridien Hotel). Friday night Daddy had told her that they can take MRT to Dhoby Ghaut and then walk over, very short distance only. She had to purposely ask me how far it is to walk from the MRT to the hotel. C'mon, my Dad is a taxi driver, obviously he knows the way much better than me right. Anyway I told her the distance is not very far, and I knew she was hinting to me to fetch her to the hotel, but I chose to keep my mouth shut. Came Saturday, Darling and I went for our pre-natal class at Mount A after I finished work. Then after lessons we went to my MIL's place for dinner, a norm that we always do on Saturdays. Darling felt obligated to fetch my parents to the hotel, so he called my Dad and told him to wait for us, we rush back to send them to the hotel. And so, we sent them to the hotel and then we went Robinsons to do some shopping for Baby. Around 945 pm, I was exhuasted from the whole day of walking and shopping, I wanted to head home for a shower and rest. I gave Daddy a call to inform him that I am going home already. After this brief phonecall with him, my Mum immediately called me and asked us to wait for a while, they are at the 7th course now and will finish the dinner soon. My Dad took over the phone and told me to go home and rest, they will make their own way home. FYI, I was 7 months pregnant and feeling heavy and tired, and all my mum could think of was her own convenience. But the point is, my Mum had already requested for us to wait, again, we felt obligated to wait. And guess wad, I ended up taking a nap in the car and waited for them till 1030pm.

Throughout my wedding planning last year and now the preparation of the arrival of Isabelle, I have never asked her for a single cent. We did it through our own means. We are quite tight these few months, having to buy the big ticket items - stroller, car seat, gynae package, set aside the money for delivery expenses, set aside a sum of money to give my mum for helping me in my confinement, and there are so many miscellanous items to buy. When I have the means, I will without hesitation, give her $400 (all along it has been $400) a month. However lately due to the purchases of these bigger items, Darling and I are living through our nose. Ever since I was unable to pass her money, every month end, I will hear snide remarks from her to my other sisters about money, of coz she did not mention my name, but she will complain to me about Number 2 giving her only $200 a month when she is taking care of Alvan's expenses, she will scold my youngest sister about spending unnecessary money on soft toys and not able to give her even $50, complain about Number 1 coming home to eat and not helping out. I am not sure if she is targetting all these at me, but even Darling feels that my mum has been mentioning the word "Money" far too often lately. Maybe we are too sensitive? But hearing how other people's parents sponsor car seat or stroller or wadever, and our own family does nothing is kinda sad. Even the bird's nest are all paid for by my hubby and me. She buys birds nest and is not for me. Am I expecting a lot from my parents?

Initially we asked my mum to take care of Isabelle full time. Number 2 told her last year she was trying for baby and wants my Mum to take care of her baby if she strikes, and my Mum rejected her. This time round, my Mum asked how much I would give her a month if she quits her job to take care of my baby. I told her $1200 (including the $400 that I am supposed to give her a month). She was sort of indecisive about it but asked us to look for a nanny, saying she does not want to be tied down by my baby and she is not sure if she can cope. Thus we looked ard for a baby sitter. Around July, her work became quite stressful and encountered several hiccups, she started to waver more, and kept telling her work place pple that her daughter is giving her $1200 a month to look after baby, and sort of threatening them that she can quit anytime coz she doesnt need that job at all. She was using us as a bargaining chip. When the baby sitter got back to us saying she is keen to look after our baby girl, my Mum was displeased. She told us to go and meet the baby sitter but dun confirm with her until my Mum decides if she wants to keep her job or help us look after our baby. What is this man. She isn't being fair to the baby sitter and us at all! Like this everyone has to wait for her decision and be left there waiting and hanging to see if ultimately she wants to take care of my girl or not. Absolutely pissed with my Mum in this aspect.

I tried to tallk to my Mum in another way, saying that if she decides to take care of my baby, she will not be able to reject Number 2 and Number 4 when they give birth and requests that my Mum takes care of their babies as well. My Mum's reasoning is that she had helped Number 2 to bring up Alvan already, and Number 2 has used so much of her money, my Mum has enough reasons not to take care of her baby. Number 4 is going to be staying so far, she cannot possibly bring baby all the way to Tampines and back to Telok Blangah everyday. I think my Mum has forgotten that Number 2 feels that taking care of Alvan is very conveniently my Mum's job, and that Number 4 works in Loyang. She will still need to travel down to the East everyday, and who knows she might decide to leave baby in Tampines everyday and bring baby home only on weekends? In worse cases, she say can just hire a maid, and she will just over-see the maid. C'mon, who doesn't know that if really hire a maid, end up ALL the expenses is going to be on MY shoulders again? Will Number 2 and 4 chip in for the maid? No! In the end, one remark from Number 2 solved the WHOLE problem. She told my mum "If you look after Ah Hui's baby, you cannot say no when Ah Chun and I ask you to take care of our babies." And my Mum did not rebute her with the 'taking care of Alvan for the past 10+ years' and 'Number 2 spending a lot of her money already'. But anyway case closed, my Mum will be returning back to work after 3 to 4 weeks of my confinement.

Have been wondering if it is due to my surge in hormones that I have been feeling a tad too emotional and sensitive lately, or it is due to my suppressed feelings for too long. Starting to feel sorry and pity myself for a lot of things. All the old grandmother stories are coming back, all the injustice and unfairness that I haven felt for so long are all back again. And the thing that triggerred all these is my own mother.

Baby Shower - Like what I had mentioned in my previous post, I am feeling very upset about the no baby shower and no cake distribution.

Fetching my mum home after work -
Some background story (not sure if I had mentioned it before)... Ever since we got our ride, we have been fetching my mum back from work almost everyday. To the extent that it has become a habit and she will call me every night to check if we will go and fetch her. We fetch her on all days that we can, maybe except on days when I meet my frens for dinner, and this is before and after I was pregnant. Even when we have our early days and reach home before 8pm, Darling will still make an effort to purposely drive down and fetch her home. Somedays we will purposely loiter ard to wait for her so that we can fetch her home even though I am extremely tired, especially after I discovered I was pregnant. We do all these without complain until she got a bit overboard.

Mid of August I was on 8 days of HL, and throughout the 8 days I was cooped up at home and resting, so obviously Darling drove to work. He had to work late on many days as he had received a new project. Thus was not able to go and fetch my mum from work. Then that weekend, Number 2 came home for lunch. My mum complained to her that she has been reaching home late for the past week coz she had to take a bus home. Number 2 offerred to fetch her back on days that we are unable to fetch her. Her number 2 daughter offerred it willingly. So came Tuesday (Monday was a public holiday in Malaysia, so she did not go to work), both us and Number 2 called her to offer to send her home. End up we fetch her home coz we were already in the vicinity. Wednesday we let Number 2 fetch her, Thursday due to Isabelle's notti saga, we did not make it to fetch her. She came home and told me try not to always let Number 2 go and fetch her. I just listen lo. Friday we went to fetch her.

Then come this week. Today is Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday Darling drove to work, in fact nowadays he will send me to work, then he drives to office. We were not expecting him to work late, but who knows, Monday morning he received an email from the client, saying that he wants to bring forward the meeting to today (Wednesday) which means he will have lots to rush on Monday and Tuesday. And I myself was stranded in the office, I had to ask Daddy if he could come and fetch me home on Monday. Tuesday I did not want to trouble him, so I took a cab home on my own.

Monday evening Mum called me, asking if I had called her (she had a few missed calls). Those calls were not from me coz I was at home, without car, and James at work, with the car, I would not have called her to offer to fetch her coz I had no means to do that. It was Number 2 who called her. After knowing that I did not call her, she said she will call Number 2. She called me shortly and asked me to lie to Number 2 if Number 2 calls me. She wanted me to tell Number 2 that I was on my way to fetch her, when in fact she will take a bus home on her own. I passed the phone to Daddy who sort of told Mum off. He mentioned something like Number 2 offerred to fetch her home willingly, why is there a need to lie? If I am not wrong, my Mum's reply was she did not want to trouble her so much and so often, so she take bus home on her own. Coz my Dad's reply was "Asking her to fetch you is troubling her, then what about Ah Hui, they everyday fetch you home, no trouble is it?" End up my Mum got Number 2 to fetch her home.

I feel very taken for granted by my own mother. She expects James and I to go fetch her everyday and that is no trouble to us. But when Number 2 go and fetch her, it is trouble to Number 2. Even when my parents go Malaysia for those short trips, the moment they reach Singapore customs, they will call us, expecting us to go and fetch them. There was this Saturday they had to attend a wedding dinner at Conrade Hotel (the ex Le Meridien Hotel). Friday night Daddy had told her that they can take MRT to Dhoby Ghaut and then walk over, very short distance only. She had to purposely ask me how far it is to walk from the MRT to the hotel. C'mon, my Dad is a taxi driver, obviously he knows the way much better than me right. Anyway I told her the distance is not very far, and I knew she was hinting to me to fetch her to the hotel, but I chose to keep my mouth shut. Came Saturday, Darling and I went for our pre-natal class at Mount A after I finished work. Then after lessons we went to my MIL's place for dinner, a norm that we always do on Saturdays. Darling felt obligated to fetch my parents to the hotel, so he called my Dad and told him to wait for us, we rush back to send them to the hotel. And so, we sent them to the hotel and then we went Robinsons to do some shopping for Baby. Around 945 pm, I was exhuasted from the whole day of walking and shopping, I wanted to head home for a shower and rest. I gave Daddy a call to inform him that I am going home already. After this brief phonecall with him, my Mum immediately called me and asked us to wait for a while, they are at the 7th course now and will finish the dinner soon. My Dad took over the phone and told me to go home and rest, they will make their own way home. FYI, I was 7 months pregnant and feeling heavy and tired, and all my mum could think of was her own convenience. But the point is, my Mum had already requested for us to wait, again, we felt obligated to wait. And guess wad, I ended up taking a nap in the car and waited for them till 1030pm.

Throughout my wedding planning last year and now the preparation of the arrival of Isabelle, I have never asked her for a single cent. We did it through our own means. We are quite tight these few months, having to buy the big ticket items - stroller, car seat, gynae package, set aside the money for delivery expenses, set aside a sum of money to give my mum for helping me in my confinement, and there are so many miscellanous items to buy. When I have the means, I will without hesitation, give her $400 (all along it has been $400) a month. However lately due to the purchases of these bigger items, Darling and I are living through our nose. Ever since I was unable to pass her money, every month end, I will hear snide remarks from her to my other sisters about money, of coz she did not mention my name, but she will complain to me about Number 2 giving her only $200 a month when she is taking care of Alvan's expenses, she will scold my youngest sister about spending unnecessary money on soft toys and not able to give her even $50, complain about Number 1 coming home to eat and not helping out. I am not sure if she is targetting all these at me, but even Darling feels that my mum has been mentioning the word "Money" far too often lately. Maybe we are too sensitive? But hearing how other people's parents sponsor car seat or stroller or wadever, and our own family does nothing is kinda sad. Even the bird's nest are all paid for by my hubby and me. She buys birds nest and is not for me. Am I expecting a lot from my parents?

Initially we asked my mum to take care of Isabelle full time. Number 2 told her last year she was trying for baby and wants my Mum to take care of her baby if she strikes, and my Mum rejected her. This time round, my Mum asked how much I would give her a month if she quits her job to take care of my baby. I told her $1200 (including the $400 that I am supposed to give her a month). She was sort of indecisive about it but asked us to look for a nanny, saying she does not want to be tied down by my baby and she is not sure if she can cope. Thus we looked ard for a baby sitter. Around July, her work became quite stressful and encountered several hiccups, she started to waver more, and kept telling her work place pple that her daughter is giving her $1200 a month to look after baby, and sort of threatening them that she can quit anytime coz she doesnt need that job at all. She was using us as a bargaining chip. When the baby sitter got back to us saying she is keen to look after our baby girl, my Mum was displeased. She told us to go and meet the baby sitter but dun confirm with her until my Mum decides if she wants to keep her job or help us look after our baby. What is this man. She isn't being fair to the baby sitter and us at all! Like this everyone has to wait for her decision and be left there waiting and hanging to see if ultimately she wants to take care of my girl or not. Absolutely pissed with my Mum in this aspect.

I tried to tallk to my Mum in another way, saying that if she decides to take care of my baby, she will not be able to reject Number 2 and Number 4 when they give birth and requests that my Mum takes care of their babies as well. My Mum's reasoning is that she had helped Number 2 to bring up Alvan already, and Number 2 has used so much of her money, my Mum has enough reasons not to take care of her baby. Number 4 is going to be staying so far, she cannot possibly bring baby all the way to Tampines and back to Telok Blangah everyday. I think my Mum has forgotten that Number 2 feels that taking care of Alvan is very conveniently my Mum's job, and that Number 4 works in Loyang. She will still need to travel down to the East everyday, and who knows she might decide to leave baby in Tampines everyday and bring baby home only on weekends? In worse cases, she say can just hire a maid, and she will just over-see the maid. C'mon, who doesn't know that if really hire a maid, end up ALL the expenses is going to be on MY shoulders again? Will Number 2 and 4 chip in for the maid? No! In the end, one remark from Number 2 solved the WHOLE problem. She told my mum "If you look after Ah Hui's baby, you cannot say no when Ah Chun and I ask you to take care of our babies." And my Mum did not rebute her with the 'taking care of Alvan for the past 10+ years' and 'Number 2 spending a lot of her money already'. But anyway case closed, my Mum will be returning back to work after 3 to 4 weeks of my confinement.